Know Thyself

Knowledge and understanding of oneself is the most valuable knowledge that a person can have and is the key to finding true happiness. To know oneself is more than consciousness of one’s likes and dislikes; it is knowing one’s beliefs, limits, and expectations. Only when one is comfortable with oneself can happiness and purpose be located.

Part of the maturation process of the human mind is establishing a state of peace and comfort with itself. Once that has occurred, the individual is usually markedly different but also focused and sentient as to his/hers future plans. The value found in knowing one’s place in society and purpose is priceless. This mental maturation, or, the process of becoming acquainted with oneself, begins with the individual considering what he/she believes to be true in this world and of humankind. Once a system of beliefs is established, self-expectations can form.

Expectations are whatever the individual expects from themselves, from interpersonal relationships, and society. For example, what an individual expects of his/her self can include where they expect their life to be in the future and what needs to be done to realize that expectation. Desires fall under expectations because what one desires affects what one expects life in the future to be like. This only holds true, however, so long as the individual believes that their desires will be fulfilled. When someone desires for something but acknowledges that the desire will never be consummated, it falls under the classification of limits.

Limits are the realistic check to expectations, both providing knowledge of what is unattainable and what is undesirable. Responsibility can also play a role when something desirable, yet attainable, is forsaken for reasons specific to that individual. Those reasons could include children, relationships, and also the beliefs of the individual. It is from a combination of expectations and limits that purpose is derived, theoretically from a process of elimination between the two. Therefore, to know oneself is to know ones purpose and there is nothing that exists of greater value.

Confidence is what I hold to be my greatest weakness. Interestingly enough, when I look back I find that confidence has historically been a problem of mine; however, as the years have come and gone, role of confidence in my person has changed. From elementary school through my first years of high school, my lack of confidence wore me down. Probably deriving from my puny stature and physical weakness in comparison to my peers, there was a feeling that I was good at nothing, and that everyone was better than me in some way. I lacked confidence and certainty in all of my actions and as a result I set my standards for achievement low and was satisfied with minimal progress and success in all aspects of my life, from school to athletics to Scouting. In retrospect, I can clearly point out the things I wish I had enough confidence in myself to achieve: medals in scouting I should have pursued, girls I should have dated, and effort not properly put into schoolwork and lacrosse- all of which could have made positive impacts on my life today.

At some point during the end of my sophomore year in high school, a change occurred in my in which I matured mentally. I am not certain what prompted this turnaround but whatever did caused me to suddenly take greater pride in my accomplishments, set my standards higher, and put increased effort into the appropriate parts of my life. Confidence remained my weakness, however. Over-confidence in my abilities and the results that I thought were achievable oft lead to embarrassments when failure came or a standard was not met. These embarrassments translated into doing no off-season lacrosse practice to being one of four juniors put on the junior varsity team instead of one of the dozen or so that made the varsity team and not practicing the basketball throw portion of my Candidate Fitness Assessment and failing that portion despite excelling in the other parts. I have taken steps, however, against what I consider to be my greatest weakness. Steps such as frequently reevaluating my status to better determine the effort needed to succeed and improving my efficiency in order to better handle my ever-growing plate of responsibilities. In making an attempt to counteract my over-confidence I have been able to prevent any significant loss of success already achieved.

Ambition is the trait I consider to be my strongest simply because it energizes and drives me to settle for no less than my highest capabilities while always striving to extend my capabilities in order to achieve more. A desire to make a splash, the bigger the better, in the ocean that is humanity is what motivates me in life. This ambition of mine has helped me to set goals in my life that are lofty, but still attainable in my eyes. Consequently my chosen direction in life has been selected because I feel that within my selected path therein lies the proverbial “diving board” from which I will cannonball into that sea which is human existence. Deep down I sincerely feel that I will find in the United States Military Academy will provide me with the means and in the U.S. Army the proving ground from which I will establish myself and be judged. Had I not the level of ambition I do now, I would most certainly explore different avenues in life that would lead me to lesser, but no doubt satisfactory ends. However the prospect of finding joy in that lifestyle is dim for I truly find happiness in success and the subsequent recognition of that success.

Fear of change is the reason that it is so difficult for people to openly discuss their strong and weak points. People are afraid that when their self-opinion is heard, that it will contradict the opinions that the audience already has about the person; and that other people’s perception of one will change when one’s self opinion is heard. In many ways we are afraid that by mentioning our own opinions of ourselves, we will cause others to change the way in which they look back at us. The uncertainty of whether or not they will look back benevolently or scornfully is the basis of our fear of divulging personal information. Conversely, hearing what other people think about us can make us change ourselves based on the popular opinion. We think that once everyone sees something about us, it becomes true, and that our own perception is no longer valid because it has been skewed by our self-esteem preventing the truth from being realized. This is precisely why, for some people, it is easier to talk about oneself to strangers as opposed to family or friends. The theory is: if the audience does not already have an opinion, then one’s self-opinion will be the only one that will be taken as true and personal change need not occur.

I personally feel uneasy about sharing my own views of myself for the same reasons I
mentioned afore. Although I am aware that sharing of personal thought can cause others to form a greater respect and admiration for me, the fact that my opinions may also shatter previous conceptions held by others, ultimately causing them to lose the respect that they once had for me. While others may shrug off the fact that people’s opinions may change and that the loss of some positive relationships in this case is acceptable I do not. I value every relationship that I form with a person, and do not find comfort in being on unfriendly terms with anyone. Therefore I feel like it is more uncertainty than prospect of change that causes my angst of sharing my views about myself.